Posted 4 hours ago

sheep-boy:

"guess we cant have different opinions on tumblr"

nah son. an opinion is like “orange juice is nasty” or “fall out boy is overrated”

"your gender identity is ridiculous and you dont deserve to have it respected" is straight up bullshit and you should be called out on it

Posted 4 hours ago
Hello! I just wanted to tell you again how much I appreciate you and your blog ily>12
airgillett720 asked

I have no clue when you sent this, but that was ridiculously sweet and I just wish I could hug you soooo much. Thank you!

Posted 4 hours ago

tattooinggothamcity:

'its too hot to wear all black'

image

Posted 4 hours ago

fuocogo:

sharkchunks:

fennecwolfox:

oeste:

misterhippity:

I tried a 2-D printer once, and the paper jammed.

So now I just painstakingly re-create my paper copies by hand, like a medieval monk.

i tried using paper, but the edges crumpled

so now i just chisel my commandments into stone, like old testament god

I tried using stone, but it cracked and broke.

Now I just scream everything at passersby, hoping they’ll remember what I said so I can ask them about it when I need it.

I tried shouting things at passersby but they ignored me.

Now I emit allohormones in a gypsobelum that bonds selectively with the recipient’s hemolymph to reconfigure their bursa copulax into a copulatory canal. I can only say one thing, “I want to mate with you,” but really, what else ever needs to be said?

i tried whatever that was and it worked just fine 10/10

Posted 4 hours ago

myselfisme:

Don’t Say “That’s So Gay” Campaign (Wanda Sykes) [ x ]

How about a round of applause.

Posted 4 hours ago

jackthemother:

So this happened on facebook today….

Posted 4 hours ago

niallhortonhearsawho:

a girl walks into a classroom wearing a spaghetti strap shirt. immediately every boy within a 50 yard radius gets a raging erection. the teacher attempts to present a lesson but to no avail, no one can hear over the sound of every male student masturbating to this girl’s shoulders. why couldn’t she just wear a long sleeved shirt

Posted 4 hours ago
found-liquorstore-and-drank-itt:

impalathief:

butts-are-wonderful:

laughfloor:

where’s the fucking rent

“Yes, hello, I’m from the FBI. I would like to ask you some questions about your daughter’s death.”

“But I already talked to the FBI.”

"i know. i just have a few more questions to ask you"

found-liquorstore-and-drank-itt:

impalathief:

butts-are-wonderful:

laughfloor:

where’s the fucking rent

“Yes, hello, I’m from the FBI. I would like to ask you some questions about your daughter’s death.”

“But I already talked to the FBI.”

"i know. i just have a few more questions to ask you"

(Source: aliceneedsadrink)

Posted 4 hours ago

meladoodle:

forgive me father for i have sin-ed.. and cos-ed.. and tan-ed.. hahaha also i killed my trigonometry teacher

Posted 4 hours ago